Nobody Listens to Techno (pt 2)

I’m honestly writing this post because part 1 was sitting in my drafts for so long that when I actually posted it, it didn’t pop up as the first story. Instead it got lost in all the other posts of random guys. So, go read that first and then come here and read about this guy. He actually turned out to be really shitty and awful but we’ll get to that.

So you read that other post right? You have all the context and background to continue on with this story… I don’t blame you. I probably wouldn’t go read it first anyways. You’re here already. Why would you? Anyways, after my previous encounter the night before I came back to my friend’s apartment, showered, and checked my Hinge. At that time in my life I was again kind of desperate and decided to download a dating app called Hinge. It’s friends of friends… What could go wrong? The person that I meet on this app probably won’t suck. We should at least have a few things in common because we have friends in common. Well I matched with this one guy and we started talking. After asking me what I was up to I told him how I was on my way to a music festival. He told me how he had gotten a pass and was planning on cleaning his room but he would make his way up to the festival instead. Anything to get laid, amiright?

This is where I kind of regret what I did. I took something and I decided to meet him. I made a huge mistake. I thought it was a good idea to take drugs and then go meet up with some guy I met on an app. Sorry Mom. All those things you taught me, flew out the window. So I met up with him and told him about what I did. The funny thing was that my friends were trailing me just to make sure that the meeting went okay. And why wouldn’t the meeting go well? I was feeling the best that I could ever feel while I was meeting a complete stranger. Mistake number 1. So we ended up going to some beer tent and my friends went back to a different stage to check out the music because everything looked fine and I didn’t give a signal that I was in distress… I thought this guy was amazing. I didn’t see any of the warning signs. How could I? So eventually we walked to a different stage and we ran into my friends. This was warning sign number 2. He didn’t even care to meet them, talk to them, he just brushed them off and tried to get me away from them as soon as possible. But I wasn’t aware of what had happened. I wasn’t aware that he didn’t want all of us to spend time together. Instead he took me into the crowd and I didn’t care. I was enjoying the music, the sounds, the sunset, taking everything in. And he took his opportunity and kissed me and I enjoyed that too. We eventually went back to his place, quickly detouring to pick up a few things from my friends apartment, and then taking the subway into Brooklyn. He made a comment about how small my friends apartment was and could only talk about how relatively little he paid for his apartment in Brooklyn. At least I made a smart decision in texting my friends the address that I was going to.

I don’t know if you can’t tell but I actually do not have fond memories of this guy. He was just pretty shitty and I look back at him taking advantage of a situation. So after we got to his apartment and had hooked up, I thought I was in love. I was also on drugs that made you think you’re in love with people. I didn’t realize my mistake until weeks later. So he took me out for burgers, we went back to his place and watched some show, and I took the subway back to grab my stuff and took a bus back home. He asked me to stay one more night and I said no. So after that 6 hour ride back home and passing out on the bus I never thought I would talk to him again. But then something strange happened. He called me. And I really enjoyed our phone conversation. He gave me a recipe for a taco seasoning and I tried it out. I thought I was in love. But I was riding the after effects.

So this went on and I told him I would visit him. I would come back to NYC and spend time with him in a few weekends. But then things started to go dark. I was still in my graduate program and stressed. He told me about all the fun events he was going to, his bar-tending lifestyle, and how my life was boring. He shoved it in my face the fun things I could be doing instead of homework… And it started to make me feel bad. I enjoyed what I was studying. I enjoyed the ambition I had. I enjoyed that maybe I’m not seeing a famous person attend the event he was at but I really liked the graphs I was creating. And it bothered me. It bothered me that he didn’t support me in what I wanted to do. But he still wanted me to come spend the weekend with him. And he kept being unsupportive of my dreams and continued calling me. Soon those drug after effects wore off after two weeks and I started to get a bad feeling in my stomach. I didn’t want to pick up the phone when he called. I didn’t want to spend the weekend with him.

So my fall break came and I told him the news. I was not going to stay with him. And we got into a fight. I started making excuses as to why and then just straight up told him. I didn’t want to spend that much time with him. Instead I was going to stay with my other good friend at her apartment. I’m glad I made that decision over seeing him again. I felt so anxious and sick and upset at the thought of seeing him again that I just couldn’t do it. Instead of spending the weekend in his room, I spent it at a pickle festival and eating pizza, and taking photos in front of murals. I spent it with someone who  I actually cared about (SHOUT OUT), who supported me in my tough times, who cared about me, and who just loved unconditionally. I’m glad I spent it with a really good friend instead of some guy who I met high at a music festival, who didn’t care about me, who seemed possessive and controlling. He kept texting me the whole weekend to come to the bar he was working at, he kept texting me asking about the things I was planning on doing that weekend, and he just wouldn’t leave me alone. I stopped responding.

I left to go back to classes, tests, returning home exhausted, and choosing sleep over everything else. After that weekend he kept contacting me. He kept texting me and we got into a huge fight and I told him how I didn’t want to spend time with him. I was so upset. I look back at it.  I barely knew this guy and he made me feel really bad about myself, and stressed out. I had seen him in person once and he reduced me to tears. I remember how excited I was at first about him and then how wrong I turned out to be. But drugs man. They’re something. I talked to a different friend about what was going on and he gave me the best advice I took on the situation. He told me that I owe that guy nothing. If it bothered me that he was still contacting me after I told him that I didn’t want to see him, that I didn’t have to talk to him. I didn’t have to feel bad. I didn’t have to polite. He told me to block him and cut him out of my life. So I did. I blocked his number, I blocked his facebook. And thank god that was all. Thank god there wasn’t any other social media that he had followed me on. I look back at it and I am so happy I took that advice. For a while every time I went to NYC I was scared I would run into him but at least he didn’t have any way to contact me.

So while I look back onto that weekend pretty fondly, I do not look back at this guy fondly. I regret it. I wish I did things differently. I wish I didn’t think to give dating apps another try. I wish I decided not to meet a drug while I was on drugs. But it happened. And it’s done. The only reason I even wrote this post was so all of you could read a much happier part one. But the joyous times come with darker times. I’m glad I have the supportive friends that I do. Most importantly, I’m glad I listened to their advice and felt okay just cutting him out.

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