One night, driving home from dance, I was talking to my roommate about my recent failed romances and I came to a revelation: “I should start dating guys I’m not interested in.” She started to laughing really hard but I’m telling you, it’s genius. When the relationship ends, there won’t be any disappointment because there was no interest in romance in the first place. This I realize is not feasible but hey can’t blame a girl for trying to figure out ways not to get heartbroken.
How did I get to this conclusion? Well it started one night when one of my friends and I went to go see our friend’s band (http://scopeandfigure.bandcamp.com/ ). Her ex-boyfriend is a member of this band. I won’t get into details but after their show we decided we needed to go to the bar and vent a little bit. I had texted one of our other friends about meeting up at some point and told him where we were so he could meet up with us later. We got to this little bar known for its strong drinks and ease for underage college students to get in. We go in, I get a beer and we sit down in the corner, isolated, away from everyone else. I think people would have been scared to come near us because they could see the man-hating pheromones coming off of us. So, we vented and talked for an hour and our friend, lets call him Matt*, comes with his co-worker. Literally the first words out of his mouth were “Wow, you guys look like the most depressing people at this bar.” Watch out boys.
We laughed and he actually put us in a better mood. His co-worker, Jack*, got the most wonderful first impression of us as being man-hating, anti-social, about to cry in the bar girls. Well Matt started dropping hints on what a great guy Jack was, how he came out with him, etc. (Hint taken)… Jack also had this weird habit of looking down. I still to this day can’t really tell if it was to stare at my almost non-existent chest or he just doesn’t know where to keep his eyes and takes glimpses in the downward direction. So, being bold, having no interest, and being a little out of practice, I told Jack how he and I should go out on a date. Why? Because I had nothing to lose. I think mentally I made it into a game to see if I can be bold enough to ask someone on a date and if they would do it. I could also tell from body language and the amount of times he looked at me that he would say yes and being fearful of rejections, this soothed my soul. I want to make clear, I had no interest in this guy but hey, why not? We made 4 dates in the matter of 20 minutes (I made 3 of those dates in a matter of 10). Swing dancing Wednesday, dinner Thursday, drinks Friday, and something Saturday. Spoiler alert: We didn’t go on 4 dates. He did though, get my number.
So the night continues, and it’s getting late. I am going to give my friend who I went out with a ride home and then Jack asks me for a ride home and I say yes, so intrinsically I have to give Matt a ride home as well. As we get into the car Matt says that I should drop of Jack last so we could have “alone time” together. I have known this guy like an hour (which from my previous post isn’t really an excuse) and didn’t really want to end up alone with him. Alas, I drop off my friend at her apartment, then Matt tells me that he wants me to drop him off at his girlfriend’s house, smooth. So it’s Jack and I left in the car and I get his address. We make a lot forced small talk. As we pull up to his house I stop the car and am just sitting there, waiting for him to get out, just waiting, while he calculates his next move. I think we may have sat there 5 minutes and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. Damn you, feelings of lust, getting in the way of my sleep. I am 99% sure he was planning on kissing me but when I was talking to Matt a couple days later, he said that apparently Jack was just trying to hug me. A hug doesn’t happen with your lips puckering towards me, but hey I could be wrong. So he leans in for a “hug” and I turn my head away and move back. You know the first thing he says to me the second after I turn away? “Oh not feeling it, oh okay” (or paraphrased). Readers, I wish you could’ve been there. No I’m not feeling it, after I gave you my number and planned 4 dates with you. (God I suck.)
Awkward encounter number one done. So I was pretty impressed when he texted me a couple days later saying that he wanted to go on a date with me. Hey, I must be a charmer. We decided to go out for drinks. So our Thursday date of dinner turned into drinks, at a bar about two blocks from my apartment. I got myself a drink and went outside to find him. It was a beautiful fall night out. So we got to talking and the conversation was pretty good. Highlight: Him telling me how going home and having his mom do laundry is great (Which I feel, I still haven’t gone to the laundromat downstairs from my apartment but instead drive to my dads 20 minutes away to use his washer and dryer). I think I may have had some philosophical musing on religion. I finished my first pint pretty fast, and I see him trying to catch up, and he offers to get me another drink, so I accept. I told him to surprise me with the beer. He asked me if I liked it, which it was good (Sam Octoberfest) but not as good as my drink before, so my face betrayed me. I also got plastered after just two drinks. I ended up rambling for a while about god knows what. I didn’t feel like I needed to impress him and could be comfortable just talking about whatever, judge me all you can I won’t be hurt on how this ends (is what was going through my head as all these different topics poured out). So two hours go by. I’m two drinks in. I am drunk. It’s 7pm and I’m exhausted. I say my goodbyes, give him a hug (he doesn’t go in for a kiss!), and stumble the two blocks home.
It was actually a really great time. We didn’t talk much after that. He messaged me during my alumni weekend but I was busy. I saw him at a bar with all our friends maybe a month after that and we chatted. It was fine. No hurt feelings. No getting confused about how we feel or what we are. It was one date where I left happy from what had happened. That’s why, instead of being upset with all the guys I fall in love with, I should start dating guys I’m not interested in.
*Names of course have been changed